You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize