I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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