he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
