I'm sorry my penis didn't work
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
