Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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