the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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