I looked at my own cervix.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
