For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
