Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
