Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
