Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
