Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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