Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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