i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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