I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
