Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
