The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
