Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
