His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
