Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
