my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize