This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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