i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
