This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
