All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
