Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
