fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the day after is always just damage control
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
