yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
