I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
