You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
