my room smells like sperm. sweet.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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