so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
