Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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