Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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