I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
