If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
