as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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