1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
