I think I am morally bankrupt
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
