your room smells of hookers.
And success
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
