Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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