I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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