The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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