omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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