all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
