I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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