Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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