yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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