I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
