Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
