Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
