we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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