Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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