I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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