I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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