it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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