Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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