Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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