If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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