loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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