All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
