Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
