Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
