party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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