I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
