Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
