I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
