I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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