Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
