...so i touched it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
