Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize