Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
