...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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